Message from the Moderator, Donna Marrin

February 2012, Volume 34

Is your idea pot in need of stirring?

You love to write. You want to write. Whenever you have a great idea, a solid chunk of time, and a keyboard in front of you, your mind boils—your fingers can’t type fast enough and wisps of steam puff from your ears.

But then along comes the “dry season.” Perhaps your life has become a whirlwind of obligations that have sapped you of time and energy. Although the writing bug still bites, you’re just not feeling the heat.

It happens to the best of us at times (except maybe for Danielle Steele and James Patterson).

Here are some of the actions I take whenever I need some motivation…

People watch. Grab a pen and a notebook and head to the mall, a travel terminal (airport, bus) or any public place, and observe the masses. Note individual mannerisms, clothing, expressions, voice tones, gaits, and jot down the ones most interesting to you on paper. Mix and match your descriptions to create a variety of different character outlines. It can also be interesting to listen in on a conversation (fun to do in restaurants) and then create a “day in the life” of that person.

Use a dictionary. Close your eyes, open your dictionary to any page, and point at a word. Read the meaning then write a story based on it.

Use a photograph. Find a photo—in a magazine, on the Web, in a newspaper. Imagine that you’ve just stepped into that photo and start writing from there.

The Internet. The Web provides an endless source of prompts for writers. For inspiration, check out http://www.writersdigest.com/prompts, http://creativewritingprompts.com/, http://thepromptwriter.com/, or search for more sites on your own.

Use the news. We all know that reality is often more entertaining than fiction, so use it. Rework a news story, embellish it, add an ending. Just make sure you change the names to protect the innocent (and the not so innocent).

Join a writers’ group. If you need motivation, nothing is more inspiring than listening to other writers share their work. Look for a group in your community or join one of the many online groups currently available.

Once the ideas have started flowing, keep a notebook and pen at hand all the time, and jot down ideas as they occur to you. I also keep a mini recorder in my car to record any ideas that pop into my mind while I’m driving.

Your creative spark will always be there. You may just need to light a match under it every once in a while.

January 2012, Volume 33

Another Year, Another Hope Dashed…
That’s Right… It’s Time To Make A New Year’s Resolution!

With a new year upon us, I remember that it’s time to decide which of my shortcomings I’ll be targeting as my resolution for 2012. After all, why not punish myself for my overindulgences during the month of December?

I wonder if the Romans realized how much grief they would cause in the future when, back in 153 BC, they voted to declare January 1st the beginning of the New Year. Way back in 2000 BC, the early Babylonians, who had originally named March 23rd the beginning of the New Year based on the start of crop-planting season, weren’t nearly as hard on themselves as we are today. After all, their most popular New Year’s resolution was to return any farm implements they’d borrowed from their neighbours.

We should be so lucky. Every December 31st, we modern-day folk insist upon looking back with a critical eye, looking forward with an optimistic eye, and coming up with at least one way to put a damper on the month ahead. Thanks to the Internet, I discovered that there’s a top ten list of the most popular New Year’s resolutions:

1: Spend More Time with Family and Friends. Magazine polls show that more than 50% of us vow to appreciate loved ones and spend more time with family and friends this year. My family and friends already take up too much of my time. Perhaps this one should be changed to spend more time alone?

2: Exercise. Everyone knows that exercise reduces the risk of some cancers, increases longevity, helps achieve and maintain weight loss, enhances mood, lowers blood pressure, etcetera. So why is it that so many of us spend not only the month of January but every month afterward beating ourselves up over the fact that we just can’t seem to stick with it. I already know that this will be one of my resolutions since it has been every single year for the past twenty.

3: Lose Weight. Fifty-five percent of us are clinically overweight, so (surprise!) weight loss is one of the most popular of all the resolutions. With this also being my resolution for the past twenty January firsts, I’ve alternated donating fat clothes and, later, skinny clothes to Goodwill for so many years, I know I could walk into the store at any one time and find pieces of my clothing in every size category available.

4: Quit Smoking. Even if you’ve tried to quit before and failed, don’t despair. On average, smokers make the attempt about four times before they quit for good. And really… why would you want to shorten your life span when there are so many more exciting resolutions to tackle?

5: Enjoy Life More. I know we all lead hectic, stressful lifestyles these days, but do we really need to be told to do this? People–call in sick, already!

6: Quit Drinking. If you have decided that you want to stop drinking, there is a world of support available in your community. In my case, I don’t imbibe enough and would probably benefit greatly by substituting red wine for coffee.

7: Get Out of Debt. Money is the number one cause of friction between spouses. Most of us don’t need all the stuff we already have, so why buy more? That said, chop up your spouse’s credit cards on January first (but find a good hidey hole to keep your own).

8: Learn Something New. There is so much to learn in the world around us. So get moving. Learn a language, master a hobby or a dance step. Whether you take a workshop or read a book, education is one of the easiest and most stimulating of all the resolutions to keep. A challenged mind is a sharp mind. (Now, where did I put my keys?)

9: Help Others. When you help others, you help yourself in a most spiritual way. Whether you mentor a child, or build a house, or volunteer at a hospital, volunteer organizations can always use your help.

10: Get Organized. Unless your entire life has somehow been electronically wired so you just have to clap to find everything in it, you probably need to get all your nooks and crannies organized. Cleaning out the flotsam is empowering. Begin with a closet. And this spring, when your mate can’t find the golf clubs, just raise the issue of Resolution number one!

Message from the Moderator, Donna Marrin

December 2011, Volume 32

Advertising bloopers that drive me nuts

They’re everywhere—on posters, flyers, signs, in menus, in books, particularly self-published ones (unfortunately, those self-publishers who don’t shell out extra for professional editing give those of us who do a bad rep), and even in radio commercials.

I don’t get it. With the amount of money it costs to advertise a message, the services of a professional proofreader/editor are critical, but often brushed aside. Even big-budget companies aren’t immune. I’ve heard mispronunciations in radio commercials that have set my hair on fire. I’ve also seen glitzy ads with surprisingly sloppy punctuation.

You might think your ad piece looks perfect, but a fresh (and well-trained) pair of eyes is guaranteed to weigh the scales of credibility in your favour. A proofreader/editor will spot something you’ve missed—either because you’ve already read through it too many times, or because you just aren’t equipped with the right knowledge.

Here’s my short list of peeves:

LCD display. LCD is the acronym for Liquid Crystal Display. So unless your intention is to write: Liquid Crystal Display display, please skip the extra “display.”

Adding “st,” “nd,” “rd” or “th” to the day when the year follows, e.g. October 25th, 2011. What purpose does the “th” serve, other than to add unnecessary clutter? Eliminate it.

Misuse of the apostrophe Example: The store’s are all open on October 25th, 2011. ARRGGHH! If you don’t realize that apostrophes: (1) show the possessive use of a noun (John’s car), (2) are used in place of missing letters in contractions (I’m/I am), and (3) are never used with nouns that are already possessive (its, theirs, yours, etc.), then hire an editor.

Double spacing at the end of every typed sentence. Yes, those of us who used typewriters once upon a time had this practice drilled into our heads. But guess what? It’s an antiquated rule that no longer applies in our tech-advanced era of perfectly spaced type fonts. Really, it’s just distracting to see so many gratuitous spaces throughout a page of text.

Save 10% off doodads. I see this so often that if I had nothing better to do, I would use all of my spare time sending out letters that offer 10% off my proofreading/editing services. Attention advertisers: When you take 10% off the price of your doodads, your customers will save 25% ON said doodads.

See store for details. I’m sure this qualifier was originally written by some lawyer who was in a hurry to get the details out of the way so he could stuff more clients/billable hours into the day. If I drive by the store, does this mean that I’ll see the details written on the walls? That would sure save me the bother of having to stop, park my car, and enter the store to ASK for more details, or ASK in-store for more details, or ASK an employee for more details.

Certain radio commercials have tried to sell me “joo-lery” instead of “jew-el-ry.” I have no desire to shop at your store because after hearing that, I believe that your advertising people are either sloppy or stoo-pid. And that makes me wonder if perhaps your jew-el-ry buyers are too. Before you spend gazousands of dollars on a commercial, don’t you think it’s worth the effort to take a few minutes to make sure your pronunciation is correct?

Select versus selected. “Select” means “special; chosen because of its outstanding qualities.” For example, if you have slashed the prices on a small assortment of run-of-the-mill sofas selected your inventory, then you would advertise a sale on “selected sofas,” not “select sofas,” unless, of course, you can prove that the sofas you have on sale truly are superior to all the other sofas in your inventory and are not just stock you’re trying to move out. “Select” stands out above the rest; “selected” indicates that you or someone else personally selected them. If your chain of stores is offering a huge sale on backscratchers this week and you tell me that an item is only available at “select” stores, you’re in fact telling me that some of your stores are of a higher quality than your other stores. If that’s the case, I’ll shop only at your “select” stores from now on, and make sure I avoid all the others!

Serial exclamation marks. We’re having a sale! On everything in the store! You won’t want to miss it! See you there! Not on your life!

Asterisks used for no logical reason. The minute I see an asterisk, my skepticism flares. “Aha. So there is a catch.” Most of the time, the statement qualifying the claim is perfectly visible at the end of the copy block, and I would have seen it whether or not an asterisk had been placed prominently beside the price. In cases like these, customer apprehension is piqued for no good reason (most likely caused by the corporate paranoia of people who assume they’ll be sued if an asterisk doesn’t follow every offer they make). Not smart when you’re spending endless dollars in an effort not only to persuade consumers to buy your products, but also to build trust with them so they’ll become loyal customers. Here’s a very easy rule of thumb to remember: Do not use an asterisk when your qualifying information appears in the same general vicinity as your copy. If your qualifying information is located in a distant section of the page, or there are several items shown together and the qualifier only applies to one item, or the qualifier has to be placed on a back page, then you should use an asterisk to direct people to its location so that you don’t appear to be trying to hide it. Otherwise, simply place your small-type qualifier in brackets at the end of your copy block, and not only will your butt be covered, you’ll eliminate the psychological marker that screams, “strings attached to this offer.”

An aside: And then there are the cases where a proofreader/editor is on the payroll, but certain people who are in a hurry to get jobs out the door and onto press quickly will flip off the proofreader. Uh oh. Big mistake.

With that said…

The joys of being a writer/editor in the advertising industry:

1. “Hey, anyone can write this stuff! No sweat.” And then, ten minutes before the job is due and they realize that it’s not such a picnic after all, the writer is called in to clean up the big ol’ mess they’ve made.

2. “Give this a quick proofread…But don’t make any changes because it has to go out yesterday.” Sure thing. But have you let your shareholders in on the fact that the copy in the ad piece they’ve spent a fortune on could have been improved by many milestones–as well as properly punctuated–if you weren’t in too much of a hurry to bother?

3. I can’t count how many times people have changed my correct edits back to the original errors because “well, we’ve seen it written that way before.” Oh, hell then, it MUST be right! And while we’re on a role, we should of just skipped hiring an editer in the 1st place!

And on and on. I’ll end this now with a latin quote from those insightful people who wore togas: Abusus non tollit usum (misuse does not nullify proper use).

October/November 2011, Volume 30/31

A Salute to Writers  Let us imagine, for a moment, that we live in a world where writers have never existed. We can express our thoughts verbally, or by gesticulating, but nobody records our words for posterity.

There are storytellers who entertain us with impromptu tales. Mimes are the new Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Daily local news is dispatched by word of mouth, but it becomes diluted and distorted, as usually happens when a lot of people pass information verbally. And, boy oh boy, telephone companies are rolling in the dough!

But there are no writers. Can you imagine?

There would be no books. No Lewis Carroll, Hans Christian Andersen, Beatrix Potter, or C.S. Lewis to fuel our imaginations. No word pictures from the past painted by Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman or Tennyson or Wordsworth. No Edgar Allen Poe or Bram Stoker or Stephen King to chill our spines. No Tolkien, Robert Louis Stevenson, Jules Verne or Mark Twain to sweep us away on amazing adventures. No Louisa May Alcott, Harper Lee or E.B. White to bring us to tears and laughter. No runaway romances, funny anecdotes, or science fiction to entertain us. I wouldn’t have enough space to list all the authors from yesteryear and present day whose thoughts would never have connected with ours.

No biographies or memoirs to allow us a glimpse into the fascinating lives others have led. No history books to take us back in time. No geography books to transport us to places we’ll never see on our own. No science books to expose us to worlds we can’t even begin to imagine. No special-interest books to inspire us to learn new activities.

No magazines to flip through. No Good Housekeeping or Reader’s Digest or Popular Mechanics or Psychology Today. No National Geographic or Sports Illustrated or Prevention. No People Magazine or Fortune. No newspapers to keep us informed about the world.

No greeting cards or letters. No advertising to help us choose products right for us. No labels on any products either!

No song lyrics on record. No theatre, television or movie scripts.

No manuals to instruct us. No dictionaries or encyclopedias or famous quotations.

No computers, no World Wide Web, no email. (Bye bye, texting.)

Consider the personal impact that writers throughout the ages have had on our lives. Writers make work of seeking out and compiling information that we’re curious about, but don’t have the time or resources to seek out on our own. Writers use their skills to transform rough ideas into clear pictures that will teach, entertain and inspire. Writers keep the era they live in alive in the minds of future generations.

Writers live with constant rejection—it’s the nature of the work. But today, I’d like to raise a great big toast to writers everywhere, from the beginning of time to today and the future.

September 2011, Volume 29

(Warning: the following editorial has a certain curse word in it, so you might want to keep your eyes wide shut if naughty subject matter offends you!)  I read something quite hilarious the other day. A columnist who had just celebrated her fiftieth birthday decided to replace her “Bucket List” with a “Fuck-it List.” After I’d dried my eyes and finished reading her column, I took some time to ponder her logic.

No other generation deserves to say “fuck it” more than the 50-and-over crowd still standing upright (albeit, some of us aren’t so upright, thanks to slipped discs, pinched nerves and worn cartilage) after half-a-century of accepting our hard knocks. We made it through the first quarter of our life, surviving under the same roof with our dysfunctional siblings and parents. We spent the second quarter of our life caring for spouses and kids (and later, more kids in the form of our parents), mostly putting their needs ahead of our own. Worst of all, we’ve put up with enough years of workplace garbage to clog more landfills than there is land. And many of us continue to slog through it every day because who can retire in this economy? By the time we have reached that halfway point (I’m optimistic enough to believe that I still have another whole half left to go), most of us are tough as Rhino skin.

I don’t need a bucket list. I know precisely what I want to accomplish before I die, without having to write any of it down. I just have to do it. And I will. The things we are most passionate about are the things that will most naturally capture our focus. They’re the things we know we were born to do.

Then there are the things we believe we SHOULD HAVE done by now or still SHOULD do. These are things that make us feel some guilt or regret, that kick-box our self-esteem, that zap us of the energy we should be using to achieve the goals we’re truly passionate about.

This is my “Fuck-it List:”

1. I will never again work through another lunch hour. It’s my time, and I’d rather use it to read a book or take a walk. If the company tanks because I insist on taking a lunch break every day… well then I’ll just get to retire earlier, right?

2. I am never going to be Valerie Bertinelli (nor will I ever have her money and resources). I will never again fit into a teensy weensy string bikini or Daisy Mae cutoffs. Nor will I ever again wear those skinny jeans that I’ve been hanging onto since 1986. But you know what? I have realized that, regardless, I love me unconditionally.

3. I will never be Martha Stewart. I don’t like to cook. I don’t like to clean. I don’t like the preparation that goes into entertaining. I am a Hilton reincarnated. Yes, I do make sure my family eats fairly healthy, I keep a somewhat clean house, my yard is presentable enough, and sometimes I just order Chinese food or Swiss Chalet when company’s coming. I used to beat myself up over my domestic shortcomings and then, one day, I was slapped in the face with this question: “If you were on your deathbed, would this be a regret?” Hell, NO! Since then, that one question has served as my judge and jury any time a “should” pops up.

4. I will never pilot a plane. Always wanted to learn how, but couldn’t afford to. Now that I can afford to, I’d rather not spend the money. Besides, with my memory the way it’s been lately, I’m afraid I’d forget to fill the gas tank and land belly up on someone’s roof.

5. I will never own a small primate. My whole life, I’ve yearned for a pet monkey. I’ve dreamed of the cute wardrobe I would dress him in, and how he’d be my little pal and go everywhere with me. Then I read about the woman whose face was torn off by her friend’s pet chimp. And didn’t THAT dream just evaporate like canned milk.

6. I am never going to be athletic. I’ve always been the kind of person who: runs away if I see a baseball coming at me outfield; sits on my skis to get to the bottom of the baby hill; was always last to be chosen (and grudgingly, I might add) on any sports team; won’t let go of the boards if you can even get me onto the ice; swims only where I can also stand; hits the net more often than the ball; drives nothing but divots on the golf course; and so on. I exercise for 30 minutes whenever I can. That’s about as athletic as I’m ever going to be, and I’m good with that.

7. I will never have a green thumb. Plants die as soon as they see me coming their way. I appreciate a beautiful flower garden and have the utmost respect for people who brighten our world with their landscape talents. I’m always poring over Better Homes & Gardens, Canadian Gardening, and other landscaping books and magazines, and by the time I reach the back cover, I’ve usually decided that THIS is the summer I’m going to create an amazing garden. Does it ever happen? Nope. Why? Because I’m a lazy sod (excuse the pun). A “Better Homes & Gardens” garden requires daily dedication, and I’m afraid I’m already dedicated to outdoor pursuits such as curling up in a hammock with a good book or a ball of yarn and a crochet needle or a blank pad of paper and a pen. So from here on, I am content to salivate over the gardens of others while learning to appreciate my row of pine trees and the three half-price geranium hanging planters I picked up midway through the summer.

8. I will never own my own uninhabited Caribbean island. A beautiful, lifelong dream that’s been chomped on and spit out thanks to the Richard Bransons and Johnny Depps of this world, who have bought up all the best islands and left nothing but open sea for the rest of us. A person can’t even get shipwrecked (another dream) these days, without trespassing.

9. I just can’t keep my mouth shut simply because it’s the easier option (and I’m not so sure this is a bad thing). I used to be quite timid, and by the time I had reached my mid-twenties, was covered in footprints from head to toe. My tolerance-ometer started to drop in my late thirties and—God help you all!—now barely runs on fumes. Perhaps the “wisdom” that comes with age would be better described as being “an uprising” against having to take any more crap from anyone. Today, cut in front of me and I’m going to tell you, in no uncertain terms, to get the hell to the back of the line. Do something thoughtlessly rude to me or someone else in public, and I won’t hesitate to call you on it. My no-tolerance attitude has turned me into a vigilante for what has today become the lost art of “having consideration for others.” I suppose what I SHOULD be adding to my list is “I will learn to keep my mouth shut instead of saying what I really think.” Honestly, I’ve tried. It’s not gonna happen.

As I get older, I suppose my Fuck-it List will grow. There will always be things we would like to accomplish someday, things we’ll have to accept we just won’t get around to doing, regrets that drain the time and energy we could be using elsewhere. But with that said… Don’t ever (EVER!) add your passions—your greatest talents, what you love doing most, what you’ve dreamed of doing with every fibre of your being—to your Fuck-it List. You must never give up on those realistic goals that you set for yourself a long time ago, and that you truly yearn to achieve—those goals most important to you. Whether it’s writing and publishing a book, restoring an antique car, designing handbags, learning a new skill, or taking a trip to Bora Bora, it is possible to achieve if you want it badly enough. It’s just a matter of taking small steps along the path that leads to your goal, and you will eventually get there.

So, what’s on your list?

August 2011, Volume 28

Well, here it is, August already, and I have yet to be prepared with an editorial for this month or last. I’m feeling rather guilty. I should have been on the ball—after all, don’t the months of July and August represent a slowing down of normal routines? …Kicking back on the beach… stretching out under a weeping willow with a paperback… watching plump, white clouds putter by in a joyful blue sky… listening to birdsong… running through a sprinkler…

Sure, maybe 40 years ago. Today, August might as well be January in the midst of a deep freeze, for all I know. My being caught these two months asleep at the switch is NOT because I’ve been taking extra time to bask in the sunshine. The only rays my skin has absorbed lately are the ones emanating from fluorescent bulbs.

Although I know I’m fortunate to have the work I have in these difficult times, the fact is: work is work. It chews up the better part of every day, which means not a lot of “me” time. As I sit on my ergonomic chair in my artificially cooled tower of steel and plate glass, pumping out advertising taglines and grammatically correct direct marketing pieces, huge chunks of time vanish before it dawns on me that I haven’t glanced away from my computer screen long enough to notice that a whole other world exists on the other side of those thick glass panes. Perhaps it’s easier not to look than to acknowledge that the lazy, hazy days of summer are zipping by like rows of falling dominoes.

My favourite pastime in life is rhyming words and plotting fiction, and I love love love summer, but I’ve been too busy this year to enjoy much of either. As I write this rant, I really should be writing some new themes for a series of posters for my human resources department. But my brain is crying out to unload these whining words before I flip the copywriter switch back on.

I lead a simple life. I’ve no need for a designer wardrobe or fancy cars or five-star dining. But consistent paydays are essential to survival in this over-gouged world where the cost of living dictates that many people will have to dance the nine-to-five grind long past the date that they should have been blowing noisemakers at their retirement parties.

So, when you have way too much on your have-no-choice plate and the things you truly love begin to fall through the cracks, what to do?

This is what I do.

I rant a little—then, while Frank Sinatra sings “That’s Life” in my head, I tie on my big-girl cape and continue doing what I must. BUT, like a bloodhound on a scent, I never, ever miss an opportunity to sniff out the bits and pieces of happiness hidden in every little nook and cranny, even if it means that I have to settle for just bits and pieces.

Mick Jagger was only partially correct. He said: You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need.

You know what, Mick? You don’t always get what you need either.

But if you try sometimes, you might find—there’s plenty of joy in the bits and pieces.

June/July 2011, Volume 26/27

What moves you?   How often does this sort of thing happen to you? It’s a same-old same-old day. I’m absorbed in the curse that is rush-hour traffic, fuming at this driver and that, when suddenly, my attention is captured by a glimpse of mother nature’s magnificent ink pots of ruby, magenta, russet, and amber spilling over to stain the deep blue of the sky—right there before my eyes, waiting patiently to be noticed. In awe, I detour away from the traffic, onto a quiet road, park my car and sit in worship of such a perfect sight.

When I see something that moves me like this, I am compelled to stop and take notice…and write about it. Everything about a sunset—the amalgamation of colour, the serene sense of peace it represents, the powerful expanse of it, the pull of it—is too special not to be noticed and revered.

Writers have an all-consuming need to translate what moves us into words. When we see something that stirs our feelings, we simply can’t keep quiet about it. If we see something that makes us happy, we must write about the source of our happiness. If we see something that makes us sad—oh woe is the story we’ll write. If we see something that makes us angry—well, let’s just say it’s wise not to mess with a writer because you just might find yourself the subject of a very spirited editorial in a newspaper or other venue. We don’t just see things, we feel them to the core. Which drives our need to write.

If you’ve been down with a case of writer’s block or caught in a mood rut, perhaps you need to rub your eyes and take a fresh look around. It’s all too easy to lose sight of the simple yet astonishing beauty blooming in front of our noses every day, when our sights are over-focused instead on the hustle and bustle of daily life. A fat black and yellow bumble bee darting into and out of a clump of flowers; flecks of metallic sparkle in an otherwise plain stone; a lone ripple on the calm face of a pond as a mallard duck and her babies paddle by; a little girl’s bouncing pigtails as she plays hopscotch; cream-puff clouds on a blueberry sky; so simple, so precious, so easy to miss.

How many sights do you pass by each day without notice—sights that have the power to make you take pause—to move you?

Open your peepers. Miracles are everywhere.

May 2011, Volume 25

fairy tale • noun 1 a tale about magical beings 2 an unbelievable story 3 highly unlikely adj. denoting something regarded as resembling a fairy story in being magical, idealized, or extremely happy

How about that royal wedding? You’d have to be living in an Afghani tunnel not to have had a glimpse of the dashing groom and his beautiful bride by now. I wasn’t willing to get up at three in the morning to watch the televised proceedings—not even MY OWN wedding would get me out of bed at that hour—but I couldn’t wait to tune in to the live coverage on my car radio as I drove to work. I hadn’t even unlocked my desk drawers before I was watching it on my computer via live video stream (sure hope my boss doesn’t read this).

I was as awestruck by this wedding’s pomp and pageantry as I’d been back in 1981, as I watched the wedding of Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer (and yes, I DID rise before the sun to watch that wedding. But thirty more years of mileage on a body makes all the difference to the odds that any event—other than perhaps the arrival of extraterrestrials to Earth—will have the power to dislodge that body from its warm cocoon of blankets).

Buckingham Palace reps hadn’t reached mid-sentence in their announcement of William and Kate’s engagement, before the media began to generate gale storms of photos, wedding details, facts and speculation about every facet of their lives.

And that was just the first chapter of many more to come. This tale is not ending any time soon, because we don’t want it to. The people love a fairytale.

As a child, my passion for writing was fueled by Sleeping Beauty and Rumpelstiltskin, Cinderella and Thumbelina, The Emperor’s New Clothes and The Snow Queen. Fairy tales kindled my ‘what ifs’ and spun gossamer webs of magic around the inklings of what could be. Sweetest of all, fairy tales always ended happily ever after. Love and goodness reign in the end. How perfect. How wonderful.

As I matured, I learned just how greatly real life differs from fairy tales, and that endings don’t always arrive brightly packaged and tied with ribbons.

But I will never forget the lessons my beloved fairy tales taught me…that happy endings are possible; that believing in them can help make them come true; and that plenty of magic exists in this world of ours if we open our eyes and our minds wide enough to soak it up.

Giddy excitement hung in the air like a fine shimmer during the planning of the nuptials of Prince William and his college sweetheart, commoner, Catherine Middleton. Average girl snags handsome prince. The epitome of an old-fashioned fairy tale, so desperately needed in a world grown embittered by middle-east wars and suicide bombers; disillusioned by devastating natural disasters and greedy oil companies—its people overworked, overtaxed and underwhelmed by the actions (or inaction) of political leaders. A bona fide fairy tale was a long time coming, and this one couldn’t have come at a better time.

So, will this modern-day fairy tale go down in the annals of history with a happy ending written in gold cursive script, adorned with butterflies and bluebirds and gentle creatures of the forest? As it always has been and always will be, the future remains one of life’s great mysteries. But hope is intrinsic. I choose to believe that a lovely young commoner and her gallant prince—King and Queen of England someday, nesting in their royal palace with their little princes and princesses—will live happily ever after.

Long live fairy tales.

April 2011, Volume 24

High-fives for Markham’s First Literary Open Mic Night Event

Q: What happens when you bring together an exciting new author, a talented young musician and an audience teaming with writing aficionados?

A: You have an Open Mic Night Event that’s a roaring success!

The Markham Village Writers, with support from the Markham Arts Council, launched Markham’s first Open Mic Night Event in March, and it was wonderful to see so many people turn out to support literary arts in our community.

I’m a huge fan of open mic events for a few reasons.

An open mic event is a great way of helping authors spread word-of-mouth awareness of their books. At our event, Elizabeth Tyrrell, a local author and member of the Markham Village Writers, read an excerpt from her new novel, The Strangling Angel (http://markhamvillagewriters.com/members/betty-tyrrell). Elizabeth’s Irish lilt added colour to her tale of a young girl’s harrowing journey across a famine-ravaged Ireland, after witnessing her mother’s brutal murder at the hands of her father.

An open mic event is also a great setting for local musicians to showcase their talents. We invited local guitarist, poet and songwriter, Matt Panetta (http://www.supernova.com/Panetta), to perform a couple of his original songs in between readings. Words and music… love and marriage, horse and carriage… ah—the sweet sounds of synergy.

An open mic event is the ideal forum for writers who wouldn’t otherwise have a chance to share their work before an audience. We welcomed winners of the Markham Arts Council’s (http://www.markhamartscouncil.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=63&Itemid=117) poetry contest, who charmed us with their winning poems. And throughout the evening, writers in the audience made their way up to the mic to entertain the rest of us with their prose and poetry.

A successful open mic event requires a cozy environment scented with freshly brewed coffee! Our location, Cubbii Market (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Cubbii-Market/154982864541230), with its warm wood floors and wide-open spaces with comfy seating, was the icing on the cake. Speaking of cake, there were some very yummy cupcakes too, along with a fine selection of coffees and teas, and other snacks and drinks.

Q: What happens once you’ve held one successful open mic night event?

A: You hold another one! That’s right—Markham’s next Open Mic Night Event will be held on Thursday, May 12^th. (Check out our Events section soon for complete information.) See you there!

March 2011, Volume 23

Censorship is an abuse of human rights

Winds of embroilment were stirred when Canada’s Maclean’s Magazine ran an article called,‘Too Asian?’ that focused on a topic controversial to all people, regardless of race. Although some found it offensive, the article achieved what it had set out to do—get people talking—what good journalism is supposed to do. When my local newspaper reported that Markham Regional Councillor, Joe Li, had called a Council meeting and put forward a motion that the Town of Markham “condemn Maclean’s provocative article and demand a formal apology from the publication,” the writer in me was outraged. Here’s why.

Journalists living in a democratic country have every right to write freely about any topic, whatever it may be, whether or not people find it offensive. Joe Li and everyone else in Canada enjoys the great freedom to agree or disagree with the content of any printed material. But nobody has the right to insist on suppressing the freedom to state one’s personal opinions on paper. That is outright censorship. The act of censorship is far more toxic than the words or opinions it attempts to eradicate. We’ve already concocted the term “politically correct,” which is overused as an all-in-one censorship tool. “Politically correct” may have started out with good intentions, but it has grown to be nothing more than a quick reflex used by people with personal agendas aimed at enforcing censorship on the masses.

As a writer living in country that seems to take great pride in touting how free its people are, I can’t help but question the motives of a person in Joe Li’s position, who uses their power to prohibit journalists from sharing their insights, regardless of whether or not we agree with these insights. I, and every person in this country who values freedom of speech and fears the current chipping away of this precious right, should be highly offended by Mr. Li’s (along with the rest of the Town of Markham upper echelons) manipulation of power. I’d like to ask Mr. Li, if, tomorrow, a journalist wrote an article for Maclean’s called, “Northern York Region—Too White?” would he be convening Council on the Markham taxpayers’ dollar to have that headline censored too? If not, then what’s his agenda here? And—while he’s on a roll—why hasn’t he also demanded that Maclean’s issue an apology for the article’s insinuation that Caucasian students generally base their university selections on where they’ll find the best keggers? Heck, why not order Maclean’s to start providing Council with galleys of the magazine copy before it goes to print so they can remove everything they don’t like before it goes to press?

Instead of trying to enforce censorship, which is by far more negative than the impact any words can have, I challenge people offended by opinions they read to take action by writing about their own insights. Joe Li’s kneejerk reaction tells me that he has a big chip on his shoulder (e.g., quote: “Mr. Li questioned why the word “Asian” had to be used in the article.”) that he’s trying to salve by enforcing silence instead of accepting that there are people in this world who have opinions different from his own.

Most immigrants flee their own oppressive countries to come to Canada precisely because they fear imprisonment or death in the face of voicing their opinions. When you force a magazine to apologize and eliminate or change the words of an article because you don’t like what one of their journalists have written, you just hammer one more nail into the coffin that contains our right to freedom of speech. Mr. Li’s crusade, based on whatever personal demons he has that makes him feel the need to stifle opinions he doesn’t like, has sent us several steps backward in our right to free speech.

Perhaps Mr. Li should read Article 19 of The United Nations’ Universal Declaration of Human Rights (http://www.un.org/en/documents/udhr/index.shtml) which states: Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.

I could not believe my eyes when I saw that Maclean’s Magazine had replaced the original headline on the Web version of their article. Perhaps they, too, should re-familiarize their operation with the Declaration of Human Rights and try supporting the right to free speech (which supports their journalists too) instead of folding to pressure.

I swear on the Declaration—I will never buy another copy of Maclean’s magazine if they apologize to Joe Li or anybody else.

February 2011, Volume 22

“Always walk through life as if you have something new to learn and you will.” Vernon Howard

In 2010, I learned how to crochet. I got hooked on the Saturday newspaper crossword puzzles. I enrolled in a round of refresher courses through the Editors’ Association of Canada. I began listening to autobiographical CDs in my car while driving to and from work. I read hundreds of books and magazines. I baked shortbread cookies for the first time in my life (baking is NOT my forte). I shelved my skepticism and embarked on my first ever cruise (and—surprise! surprise!—had the most incredible time). And, I learned that the dot that appears over the letter ‘i’ is called a tittle. Who knew?

Fortunately, opportunities for learning last a lifetime. No matter how old we are or how wise we already may be, as long as the earth continues to spin, there will always be something new to learn. Whether it’s a new skill, a new word, or stumbling upon a quaint little town we never realized existed, there are surprises waiting to be discovered everywhere, every day.

“The wisest mind has something yet to learn.” George Santayana (1863 – 1952)

It’s as important to exercise your brain as your body. Studies show that keeping your brain active can help combat memory loss that increases with age, and may even impact our chances of developing diseases like Alzheimer’s. Continuous learning also makes us better writers by broadening our ability to think on a variety of levels while opening our minds to all the possibilities we were unaware of. And, of course, every new discovery is a potential topic we can write about.

Every time I learn something new, my life becomes a bit richer. It’s not just about gaining more brainpower. Every new interest I pursue puts me on the path to accomplishing one more thing I can feel proud of. And if, for some reason, it doesn’t work out? Shrug. There are many other things to try.

The key is to keep an open mind. Make this the year that you’ll run against the wind and tackle something completely different. Ignore your initial impulse to reject an idea—instead, open yourself to it and then take action.

I’m still discovering how big an oyster the world is. And it excites me that there is still no end in sight to the pearls I have yet to find.

“Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.”  Chinese Proverb

December 2010/January 2011, Volume 20/21

“Nothing is worth more than this day.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses blooming right outside our windows today.” Dale Carnegie

On the morning of Monday, November 15th, when Bea Lembo (a past member of the Markham Village Writers) got out of bed and headed northwest of the city meet with a client out in Orangeville, she had no idea that it was to be her last day on this earth. That afternoon, as she drove south toward home, a car driving north veered into her lane—both drivers were killed instantly in the head-on collision.

“Could we see when and where we are to meet again, we would be more tender when we bid our friends goodbye.” Marie Louise De La Ramee

Bea loved writing stories. Her dream was to write a book based on the kitchen disaster stories of famous chefs. When she joined our group many years ago, she had already begun researching and writing her book. About a year after she’d contacted one particular chef and his agent to pitch her idea and request an interview, I stumbled upon a review in People magazine about a book that was a near identical replication of her theme and even featured a similar title—alas! published by this same duo she had once approached. Shocked, I called her right away to let her know. It was a crushing betrayal that we writers are assured seldom happens in the business. Unfortunately, this was one of the rare times when it did happen, and Bea was the writer it happened to. Upon contacting a lawyer, she learned that there wasn’t a whole lot she could do without amassing a mountain of legal fees, which she simply couldn’t afford to do. Bea was absolutely devastated. It wasn’t long afterward, she told me she’d lost her desire to write, and stopped coming to meetings.

I hadn’t heard from Bea for a couple of years when I got the call that she had died. It was at her funeral that I learned she’d been writing again—a short story here, a poem there. Her family read some of them aloud during the service. She never did get around to writing the book she’d dreamed of completing someday. I suspect she believed that someday was still a long time away.

Bea’s death made me realize how over-confident I’ve been in my belief that I’m destined to live into my nineties, just like the majority of my ancestors. It’s all about power of the mind, right? I’m sure Bea thought she’d live forever too. But she didn’t.

That every day is a gift is not such a cliché after all. I can remember my parents repeating over and over again, throughout my childhood, “Don’t put off for tomorrow, what you can do today.” I always responded with a roll of my eyes and a, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” But, once again, they were so right.

“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.” Mary Jean Iron

I can only hope that, as I write this, Bea is taking Heaven’s literary community by storm—a meaty publishing contract clutched in one hand, an advance cheque ending with lots of zeros in the other.

RIP Beatrice Lembo, 1951-2010

November 2010, Volume 19

Try Something New

As often as possible, give your creative juices a stir by trying something different. Take the path you wouldn’t normally take. Look at it as a workout for your thought processes.

Do you always write fiction? Try your hand at non-fiction. The article you write doesn’t have to be an in-depth, heavily researched piece that takes time away from the short story or novel you’re working on. It can be as simple as sharing information about a topic you know a lot about (and you do know a lot more than you realize). Does your job require certain skills that would be of interest to others in your field? Do you have a hobby that others might want to know more about? Have you had an interesting experience recently that would make a good human interest story? Prime your mind to write your non-fiction piece by pretending that a newspaper or magazine has hired you to write an article for them. Your article can be as simple as “Top Five Reasons to ___ Right Now” or “How To ____.” Start with an introduction, provide a paragraph for each point on your list, and sum it all up in your ending. Or try doing an interview and writing about that person. Most people love being interviewed—Have a list of questions prepared in advance and ask the person if they’d prefer to do the interview face-to-face, by telephone or by email. The main thing is that you’re trying something outside of your normal comfort zone.

Do you always write non-fiction? Try your hand at writing a short piece of fiction. Is your mind drawing a blank? Go online and google “writing prompts.” You’ll find more ideas than you could ever imagine. Or open a newspaper, choose a headline and make up a story to go with it. (Your fictional story will probably be a lot more believable than the real one!) Never written a poem? Now’s the time. Pick a word from the dictionary and grow your poem from there. Make it rhyming or non-rhyming. There are no rules. Nobody has to see it but you.

Other creative pursuits are also superbly stimulating to a writer’s brain. I find it both challenging and meditative to lose myself in a needlework project: crochet, quilting, embroidery, cross-stitch. Not only do these crafts have the ability to capture my focus in a way that clears my mind of all clutter and cloaks me in blanket of warm tranquility, they allow me to achieve end results that I am really proud of. Finding a hobby that you love fills you with a passion that spills over into other areas of your life. Do something that you’ve always wanted to try. Sign up for a night class, seek out instructional video clips online, or purchase a book on the topic. No matter if it’s needlework, artwork, photography, dancing or cake decorating that sparks your interest, take the plunge—just try it.

I guarantee you’ll feel invigorated after challenging yourself to try something new.

Check out past editorials in the Editorials Archive!